A custody proceeding can be an incredibly stressful and anxiety-provoking time for not only you but also your child. When a Guardian ad Litem or "GAL" is appointed to your case, the GAL will become a new person in your and your child’s lives. Below are some tips & guidelines for interacting with your child as they work with a GAL.

The GAL is the child’s legal representative and, as such, may examine, cross-examine, subpoena witnesses, and offer testimony on behalf of the child at any hearing or trial. However, the primary role of the GAL is to make recommendations as to what he or she believes is in the child’s best interests. The GAL’s recommendation may be contrary to what the child believes is best. The GAL may make recommendations to the court as to what is in the child’s best interests regarding child custody, which may include recommendations about legal custody, physical custody, communication between parents and the child, weekly schedules, vacation time, and holiday time. 

After the GAL is appointed, the GAL often meets with the parents or the third parties seeking custody to start. The GAL will then meet with the child directly. The meeting may take place at school, the GAL’s office, the child’s residence, or a public location. It can be discomforting to have a new person enter a child’s life in such a personal way. It is also imperative that the GAL can enter the child’s life in as smooth a process as possible.

To protect the process, you should not share with the child why a GAL has been appointed for them. Blaming or describing the opposing party’s negative behavior as the reason for the GAL’s appointment may influence their statements and impact the purity of the GAL’s meetings. GAL’s want to ensure their communication with the child is unbiased and untampered with so that the GAL can gain the most honest and reasonable assessment of the situation possible. Rather than saying, “a GAL has been appointed because Dad or Mom does X thing,” tell the child that the GAL is a new person to talk with them about this transition with their parents. Assure them that this person is there for them, and they should try to have an open conversation about their feelings and concerns about the situation. 

The GAL will introduce themselves to the child in the way they see fit, but you can let the child know ahead of time that they are meeting with the GAL and that this will be a safe space for them. Remind the child that they can and should be honest with the GAL and that the GAL is there to help bring their voice into the process. You can emphasize that they can truthfully answer any question the GAL asks and that it is also okay to ask the GAL any questions of their own. You can also tell the child that they may meet with this person more than once, which is often the case, so if they do not remember everything at the first meeting or do not know the answers to any questions, that is okay. If the child remembers an answer to a question later, you can offer to help them contact the GAL to provide the answer.

GALs often have different policies for communicating with the child while the case is pending and how often they will meet with them. It is best to ask the GAL assigned to your case about their policies in advance.   

To respect the privacy of the GAL’s relationship with the child, please refrain from asking them what they discussed in their meeting with the GAL. The child may want to share certain aspects of their conversations with you, but please keep these debriefs as general as possible and do not probe. If the child shares something with you about their conversation with the GAL that you find concerning, please let your attorney know, and they will contact the GAL if necessary.

All of the attorneys at The Center for Family Law are trained as GALs, in addition to representing individuals involved in divorce and child custody matters. Please contact us today to schedule a consultation. 

Article written with contribution from law clerk, Adele Rosenthal. Adele is a 2L at Washington University School of Law.